yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
