Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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