fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
