I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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