I showed him my bush... on skype.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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