This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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