I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
