Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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