Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
two words...techno handjob
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
