All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
