hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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