nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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