I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
