we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
