Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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