3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
