dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
