I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize