I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize