i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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