I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
