so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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