What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if i died would you start the facebook group?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
