C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize