YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
