it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
