The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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