mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
