really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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