I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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