ya dads aren't the best wingmen
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
