I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My first STD was from a foam party
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
