I wish my penis had an off switch
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize