they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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