by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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