help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
