so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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