if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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