I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
