So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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