You just made me feel so damn special
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
