Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Found the puke drawer
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
