I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize