we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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