You work out of a Hotel?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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