Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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