I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
