her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
