Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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