you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
how drunk are you?
Several
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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