I think my vagina is haunted
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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