It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
