what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
