id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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