We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
