Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize