just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
