Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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