...so i touched it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
