Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
