We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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