Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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