I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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