i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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