i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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