piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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