you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
